Thursday, February 18, 2010

Why I Like Making Things Look Like Wood

I get a secret thrill when I paint Faux Wood . It's as though some weird forest poetry is being written by invisible elves dancing in the brushes. What is it about taking a boring white garage door or Pillar and transforming it to look like natural wood that is so peculiarly satisfying? It just feels right.
I think this is because at heart I am a hillbilly. Although I love the flat, swampy vistas that are Florida's face, my blood is more acclimated to mountain air. Beaches are beautiful, yes, but I prefer rustic paths guarded by armies of oaks and prairies giggling with wildflowers. Rocks and snakes and icy rivers charm me more than surf and spray.
So when the opportunity arises to reclaim some visual territory from the Machine that is eating our villages (read prefabricated homes and McMansions), I pounce on it like a cougar. It feels like making a deposit in the bank of humanity to see doors converted to “wood” and pillars turned back to “stone”. Nature's first trick is that of camouflage. looks good. On the professional side it serves to coordinate the doors with the garage doors. The hues and tones of cabinets and newly-painted wood Pillars virtually sing with color harmony. And you don't even want to know what real wood is gonna cost you, both in a gut-kicked bank account and wood-maintenance drama. So, the best move is to have us come us work our mock Mahogany Magic .
Try it, you'll like it.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Painted Poetry Pet Portraits and Posters Pack a Powerful, Painterly Punch!!

Perhaps you've perused our public portfolios at and were positively pleased as a pickle to peek at our Pet Portrait Pictures . Pretty projects, eh, Polly? We at Painted Poetry are pretty proud of our pet portrait paintings. To purchase a print please place your pointer HERE pronto to pay a visit to our online store POP ART PARTY , where we presently promote our professional pet portrait products.

Perhaps your primary purpose in popping in to the pet portrait portfolio is to purchase a personalized painted portrait of your pooch  or Pomeranian princess. Perfect! We are pleased as Polynesian pomegranate punch to produce a priceless present for your partner, Papa or pal.

Process? Pricing? Proposals? Pondering the possibilities? Please post your particulars post haste. Email us here: GUESTBOOK

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Faux painting...the Most Dangerous Job On Earth?

I think when most people think of the world's most dangerous jobs they instantly think of the classics: arctic crab fishing, international spy, industrial logger, professional killer, return desk clerk at Macy's after know, the usual. But did you know that the faux finishing industry is one of the most challenging and fraught with peril? Its not all soft sponges and moist cheesecloth.
I've been bitten in the lip by a moody little Shih-tzu named Princess. I've narrowly escaped construction workers battling it out with rebar over a woman. There have been some serious coffee spills in the morning....dangerously hot coffee! We've witnessed some of the most horrific “plumbers crack” episodes from our fellow contractors. And speaking of cracks, have you ever cracked open a can of paint that has “turned”? It's as though a vicious skunk demon is waiting to punch you in the nose.
Then there are the emasculating effects of your male friends ridiculing you for painting so many unicorns. I'm currently addressing that in therapy.
So next time you see your friendly neighborhood faux painter busily tea-staining your aunt's reading room walls, give him or her a Clint Eastwood style nod of respect. They deserve it.